A farewell

It is time to stop this blog. Not just because I keep having too much to do. As you may have noticed, my posts have gotten terser over time as I tried to condense my experience in fewer words. Talking about faith, I have come to believe, can dilute it, and get in the way of living it.

Plus I have become aware that all my writings are subtle attempts at boxing God into the confines of my experience, to give me words to hold on to. Which is exactly what I tried to overcome in the first place (cf. the title of this blog).

I recently discovered Karl Barth, and his teachings have helped me see through this particular trap. I recommend him highly.

I have made one last effort to sum up my view on faith in a pithy way. Here's what I came up with:

• Invite silence
• Be gracious to all
• Don't try to find fault
• Don't reject suffering
• Walk in trust

That's it. Very simple, and at the same time very difficult. This, in my very humble opinion, is the sum of all faith. (Of all faiths, really. We are Christians because we are empowered by Jesus to live this way, but living by it is what matters, not so much who gets you there.)

I will miss you, dear readers. You are a small, select group from all over the world. I hope my writings have enriched you a bit, or helped you along the way. If you wish to leave me a note to let me know what you found here, I would very much appreciate it.

Vaya con Dios.

A mighty voice

God thunders wondrously with his voice;

he does great things that we cannot comprehend.

By the breath of God ice is given,

and the broad waters are frozen fast.

He loads the thick cloud with moisture;

the clouds scatter his lightning.

They turn round and round by his guidance,

to accomplish all that he commands them

on the face of the habitable world.

Whether for correction, or for his land,

or for love, he causes it to happen.

Job 37:5, 10-13

As we are drawn into the realm of God, we get guidance in different ways. Sometimes we run into the very real limitations of life. Sometimes we realize we are held by a love greater than our own. And sometimes we wake up as if from deep sleep and behold God's glory, and we know that we are in God's land, and always have been.

At times, these happen simultaneously; at other times, they remain distinct. Either way, the voice by which we are called reverberates throughout creation always. It thunders with might, and yet to hear it, we must become silent.

Being known

You have put gladness in my heart more than when their grain and wine abound.

Psalm 4:7

See what love the Father has given us, that we should be called children of God; and that is what we are. The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.

1 John 3:1

On April 19, the day from which I took these lectionary verses, my baby daughter was born. It took me a few moments to get used to her presence: a squirming, squealing little thing, covered in white gunk, moving its limbs in odd ways. But when she was wiped down and went to sleep with a slight smile on her face, she made little noises in her dreams, and I had a clear sense of recognizing her voice: as if she had been known to me from the beginning of eternity.

Becoming known is the essential remedy in what we call salvation. Too often we do not know ourselves or our neighbor: estranged we live, alienated from who we truly are and one another. In Christ we come to know our own condition, sanctified by way of God suffering and rejoicing as we do. And to encounter God in ourselves and one another is to become known, and to be known is to know: to see the light and the gladness of God in everyone.

Among us and within us

One day Peter and John were going up to the temple at the hour of prayer, at three o’clock in the afternoon. And a man lame from birth was being carried in. People would lay him daily at the gate of the temple called the Beautiful Gate so that he could ask for alms from those entering the temple. When he saw Peter and John about to go into the temple, he asked them for alms.

Peter looked intently at him, as did John, and said, “Look at us.” And he fixed his attention on them, expecting to receive something from them. But Peter said, “I have no silver or gold, but what I have I give you; in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, stand up and walk.” And he took him by the right hand and raised him up; and immediately his feet and ankles were made strong.

Jumping up, he stood and began to walk, and he entered the temple with them, walking and leaping and praising God. All the people saw him walking and praising God, and they recognized him as the one who used to sit and ask for alms at the Beautiful Gate of the temple; and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him.

Acts 3:1-10 (NRSV)

Are we called to feed the poor? Absolutely. But from a Christian standpoint, alms or welfare are simply not good enough. The Beloved Community happens only when each and every child of God is attended to as a person, and empowered to truly belong: the infirm, recognized as a contributor to shared life. The outcast, as an infinitely worthy denizen of the Kingdom.

A dispute also arose among them as to which one of them was to be regarded as the greatest. But [Jesus] said to them, "The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those in authority over them are called benefactors. But not so with you; rather the greatest among you must become like the youngest, and the leader like one who serves. For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one at the table? But I am among you as one who serves.

You are those who have stood by me in my trials; and I confer on you, just as my Father has conferred on me, a kingdom, so that you may eat and drink at my table in my kingdom, and you will sit on thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel."

Luke 22:24-30 (NRSV)

The Kingdom is here insofar as God is always with us. In being simple and humble--authentic and not so darn self-absorbed--our eyes are opened to this reality.

The Kingdom is not here insofar as we don't see and taste this grace: and we do evil out of despair, grasping vainly at the chimera of greatness.  

The old and the new being

The king gave a command, and those who had accused Daniel were brought and thrown into the den of lions—they, their children, and their wives. Before they reached the bottom of the den the lions overpowered them and broke all their bones in pieces.

Daniel 6:24 (NRSV)

We all are Old Testament people at heart. We instinctively believe in revenge and vindication, conquering and slaying, wrath and reward. Which is why it is so important to read the Bible: as a mirror held up to our faces, among many other things.

And this is why the Gospel message is so world-turning, so foundation-shaking. The pinnacle of faithfulness is not to expect things to be made right for us, but to take the imbalances and the crookedness of the world upon ourselves in Christ's spirit. 

In doing so, we add a tiny piece of ground to the Kingdom.

The cross and the glory of life

From crucifixion...

They cried out, "Away with him! Away with him! Crucify him!" Pilate asked them, "Shall I crucify your King?" The chief priests answered, "We have no king but the emperor." Then he handed him over to them to be crucified. So they took Jesus; and carrying the cross by himself, he went out to what is called The Place of the Skull, which in Hebrew is called Golgotha. There they crucified him, and with him two others, one on either side, with Jesus between them.

John 19:15-18 (NRSV)

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

Why are you so far from helping me, from the words of my groaning?

Psalm 22:1 (NRSV) 

But he was wounded for our transgressions, crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the punishment that made us whole, and by his bruises we are healed.

By a perversion of justice he was taken away. Who could have imagined his future? For he was cut off from the land of the living, stricken for the transgression of my people.

Isaiah 53:5, 8 (NRSV)

...to resurrection.

When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices, so that they might go and anoint him. And very early on the first day of the week, when the sun had risen, they went to the tomb. They had been saying to one another, "Who will roll away the stone for us from the entrance to the tomb?" When they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had already been rolled back. As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man, dressed in a white robe, sitting on the right side; and they were alarmed. But he said to them, "Do not be alarmed; you are looking for Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He has been raised; he is not here. Look, there is the place they laid him. But go, tell his disciples and Peter that he is going ahead of you to Galilee; there you will see him, just as he told you."

Mark 16:1-7 (NRSV)

On this mountain the LORD of hosts will make for all peoples a feast of rich food, a feast of well-aged wines, of rich food filled with marrow, of well-aged wines strained clear.

And he will destroy on this mountain the shroud that is cast over all peoples, the sheet that is spread over all nations; he will swallow up death forever.

Isaiah 25:6-7 (NRSV)

The stone that the builders rejected has become the chief cornerstone.

This is the Lord's doing; it is marvelous in our eyes.

 This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Psalm 118:22-24 (NRSV)

Conservative Christians view the crucifixion as a sacrifice made on our behalf to cleanse us from the evil in our hearts. Progressive Christians read it as the ultimate act of resistance to the powers that be, the empires of violence and exclusion.

Neither view is entirely incorrect, but held in isolation, both fall short. For both fail to grasp the actual event: the salvific and redemptive love that takes on evil to reveal it as finite.

Yes, there is darkness in our hearts. And yet, this darkness is not who we truly are. When it crumbles in waves of love, we realize that the core of our being is always fed by the Divine Source. Our sin is but scum on the Living Waters.

In the same way, our institutions are fraught with ills, and yet, they nourish and protect us even as they perpetrate injustice. Which is exactly what we do to ourselves. Their brokenness is but ours.

The real victory of Christ is this: in taking on evil and suffering, darkness and injustice, he exposes them as limited in power, inferior to truth and love. No matter how great the pain, healing is always possible. No matter how deep the dark, it can barely conceal the spacious light of day.

To uncover this reality, however, we must take on ourselves that which obscures it. In facing our personal and public darknesses, over and over again, we discover the light that is hidden within them.

In dying to what is, we find a joy more lasting and more nourishing than the fleeting pains and pleasures of the world.

Holy week paradox

O give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;

his steadfast love endures forever!

Psalm 118:1 (NRSV)

At three o'clock Jesus cried out with a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?" which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

Mark 15:34 (NRSV)

To be a Christian is to hold the contradictions of life in our heart. That is the meaning of the cross.

This is never more clear than during Holy Week, when we commemorate Jesus' path from triumphal entry to torture and crucifixion, from death to resurrection. God's steadfast love does endure forever: but sometimes, the way to that insight leads through the abyss of despair. 

Beyond despair, there is the Living Water in which the paradoxes of the world dissolve.

I preached a little sermon on the topic; it can be found here.

Love and righteousness

But this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the Lord: I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. No longer shall they teach one another, or say to each other, “Know the Lord,” for they shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest, says the Lord; for I will forgive their iniquity, and remember their sin no more.

Jeremiah 31:33-34 (NRSV)

Have mercy on me, O God,

according to your steadfast love;

according to your abundant mercy

blot out my transgressions.

You desire truth in the inward being;

therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart.

Psalm 51:1, 6, (NRSV)

With my whole heart I seek you;

do not let me stray from your commandments.

Psalm 119:10 (NRSV)

As long as you believe that God’s love is bound by conditions of faith or conduct, it is worldly love you believe in, not divine love. Make no mistake: in competing for that kind of love, there is hardly a difference between a guy showing off his Ferrari and a Christian showing off his righteousness.

We strive to lead righteous lives, not to make God love us but to open ourselves up to the love that is already here. Sin is not a matter of trespassing rules and regulations. It is a condition of inability to receive and give love.

On God's will

Some wandered in desert wastelands,

finding no way to a city where they could settle.

They were hungry and thirsty,

and their lives ebbed away.

Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble,

and he delivered them from their distress.

He led them by a straight way

to a city where they could settle.

Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love

and his wonderful deeds for mankind,

for he satisfies the thirsty

and fills the hungry with good things.

Psalm 107:4-9 (NIV)

Then Moses led Israel from the Red Sea and they went into the Desert of Shur. For three days they traveled in the desert without finding water. When they came to Marah, they could not drink its water because it was bitter. (That is why the place is called Marah. So the people grumbled against Moses, saying, “What are we to drink?”

Then Moses cried out to the Lord, and the Lord showed him a piece of wood. He threw it into the water, and the water became fit to drink.

Exodus 15:22-25 (NIV)

If anything can be said about God's will, about the intentionality within the momentum of life, it is this: for us to be joyful and free, rejoicing in the Living Waters of the Kingdom. 

All of Scripture needs to be read with this end in mind.

On sin and redemption

O give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;

for his steadfast love endures forever.

Let the redeemed of the Lord say so,

those he redeemed from trouble

and gathered in from the lands,

from the east and from the west,

from the north and from the south.

Some were sick [or: fools] through their sinful ways,

and because of their iniquities endured affliction;

they loathed any kind of food,

and they drew near to the gates of death.

Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,

and he saved them from their distress;

he sent out his word and healed them,

and delivered them from destruction.

Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love,

for his wonderful works to humankind.

And let them offer thanksgiving sacrifices,

and tell of his deeds with songs of joy.

Psalm 107:1-3, 17-22 (NRSV)

Sin is not disobedience to some arbitrary rule imposed on us from without. It is disobedience to what we know to be true in the innermost folds of our Being.

Hence, for many of us, redemption is an ongoing process, not a one-time event. Sometimes the way there leads through sin, at other times through righteousness. 

Note: both sin and righteousness can be obstacles to redemption. Discerning the difference between way and obstacle is very difficult, hence we are told not to judge.

Why I'm not giving up anything for Lent

Lent, during my childhood, was the dreaded exercise of giving up something that I like in order to please God. The underlying message being that God wants us to be unhappy for His sake.

What nonsense.

Not that there's anything wrong with renouncing something we'd normally crave. That's a spiritual exercise that can lead to surprising freshness and freedom.

By contrast, there is everything wrong with teaching children that God is He Who wants you to be without chocolate. Or TV. Especially when there is not much happiness in your life to start with, this message is damaging. It conveys a false view of God and a false view of self.

What it taught me was this: I was never enough. Never good enough, never desireless enough, never unhappy enough to please the god who delights in deprivation.

Now, of course, I know that the message of the Gospel is actually the opposite of that. What it really says it that we are accepted, no matter what. And that we are called to live a life of fullness. Times of elation and sad moments and boring, rainy days and the deep, calm joy of faith, all in unguarded abundance.

Which is, in a way, even harder to bear. For it calls us to accept ourselves as we are and life as it is. To leave behind all our neurotic attempts at manipulating self and life to conform to our whims.

And over the years, I have come to realize that giving up stuff for Lent was actually just another attempt at manipulation, borne out of the deep-rooted idea that I was not enough, not worthy to encounter God unless I deprive myself of some random pleasure.

I uncovered my deepest neurosis: trying to manipulate God into giving me happiness by making myself unhappy.

Hence, the best thing for me to give up for Lent is the idea that I have to give up something for Lent.

If there is something in my life that needs to be examined during this season of introspection, it will make itself known. In the meantime, I'm sticking to the little habits of life, finally knowing that I am, truly, enough.

Chocolate, anyone?

#Je suis all of these

Transl.: I am Muslim. I am Jewish. I am Catholic. I am Charlie.

I am none of the above. But in truth, of course, I am all of them. In a world of suffering and confusion, the only viable stance is to identify all the suffering and all the confusion as our own. For it is: as part of the human struggle intimate to our own heart.

I wrote a little sermon on the topic, it can be found here.