Aug 7, 2015

A farewell

It is time to stop this blog. Not just because I keep having too much to do. As you may have noticed, my posts have gotten terser over time as I tried to condense my experience in fewer words. Talking about faith, I have come to believe, can dilute it, and get in the way of living it.

Plus I have become aware that all my writings are subtle attempts at boxing God into the confines of my experience, to give me words to hold on to. Which is exactly what I tried to overcome in the first place (cf. the title of this blog).

I recently discovered Karl Barth, and his teachings have helped me see through this particular trap. I recommend him highly.

I have made one last effort to sum up my view on faith in a pithy way. Here's what I came up with:

  • Invite silence
  • Be gracious to all
  • Don't try to find fault
  • Don't reject suffering
  • Walk in trust

That's it. Very simple, and at the same time very difficult. This, in my very humble opinion, is the sum of all faith. (Of all faiths, really. We are Christians because we are empowered by Jesus to live this way, but living by it is what matters, not so much who gets you there.)

I will miss you, dear readers. You are a small, select group from all over the world. I hope my writings have enriched you a bit, or helped you along the way. If you wish to leave me a note to let me know what you found here, I would very much appreciate it.

Vaya con Dios.

Jun 20, 2015

A mighty voice

God thunders wondrously with his voice;
he does great things that we cannot comprehend.
By the breath of God ice is given,
and the broad waters are frozen fast.
He loads the thick cloud with moisture;
the clouds scatter his lightning.
They turn round and round by his guidance,
to accomplish all that he commands them
on the face of the habitable world.
Whether for correction, or for his land,
or for love, he causes it to happen.
Job 37:5, 10-13


As we are drawn into the realm of God, we get guidance in different ways. Sometimes we run into the very real limitations of life. Sometimes we realize we are held by a love greater than our own. And sometimes we wake up as if from deep sleep and behold God's glory, and we know that we are in God's land, and always have been.

At times, these happen simultaneously; at other times, they remain distinct. Either way, the voice by which we are called reverberates throughout creation always. It thunders with might, and yet to hear it, we must become silent.

May 2, 2015

Being known

You have put gladness in my heart more than when their grain and wine abound.
Psalm 4:7


See what love the Father has given us, that we should be called children of God; and that is what we are. The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.
1 John 3:1


On April 19, the day from which I took these lectionary verses, my baby daughter was born. It took me a few moments to get used to her presence: a squirming, squealing little thing, covered in white gunk, moving its limbs in odd ways. But when she was wiped down and went to sleep with a slight smile on her face, she made little noises in her dreams, and I had a clear sense of recognizing her voice: as if she had been known to me from the beginning of eternity.

Becoming known is the essential remedy in what we call salvation. Too often we do not know ourselves or our neighbor: estranged we live, alienated from who we truly are and one another. In Christ we come to know our own condition, sanctified by way of God suffering and rejoicing as we do. And to encounter God in ourselves and one another is to become known, and to be known is to know: to see the light and the gladness of God in everyone.

Apr 18, 2015

Among us and within us

One day Peter and John were going up to the temple at the hour of prayer, at three o’clock in the afternoon. And a man lame from birth was being carried in. People would lay him daily at the gate of the temple called the Beautiful Gate so that he could ask for alms from those entering the temple. When he saw Peter and John about to go into the temple, he asked them for alms.
Peter looked intently at him, as did John, and said, “Look at us.” And he fixed his attention on them, expecting to receive something from them. But Peter said, “I have no silver or gold, but what I have I give you; in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, stand up and walk.” And he took him by the right hand and raised him up; and immediately his feet and ankles were made strong.
Jumping up, he stood and began to walk, and he entered the temple with them, walking and leaping and praising God. All the people saw him walking and praising God, and they recognized him as the one who used to sit and ask for alms at the Beautiful Gate of the temple; and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him.
Acts 3:1-10 (NRSV)


Are we called to feed the poor? Absolutely. But from a Christian standpoint, alms or welfare are simply not good enough. The Beloved Community happens only when each and every child of God is attended to as a person, and empowered to truly belong: the infirm, recognized as a contributor to shared life. The outcast, as an infinitely worthy denizen of the Kingdom.



A dispute also arose among them as to which one of them was to be regarded as the greatest. But [Jesus] said to them, "The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those in authority over them are called benefactors. But not so with you; rather the greatest among you must become like the youngest, and the leader like one who serves. For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one at the table? But I am among you as one who serves.
You are those who have stood by me in my trials; and I confer on you, just as my Father has conferred on me, a kingdom, so that you may eat and drink at my table in my kingdom, and you will sit on thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel."
Luke 22:24-30 (NRSV)


The Kingdom is here insofar as God is always with us. In being simple and humble--authentic and not so darn self-absorbed--our eyes are opened to this reality.

The Kingdom is not here insofar as we don't see and taste this grace: and we do evil out of despair, grasping vainly at the chimera of greatness.  

Apr 15, 2015

The old and the new being

The king gave a command, and those who had accused Daniel were brought and thrown into the den of lions—they, their children, and their wives. Before they reached the bottom of the den the lions overpowered them and broke all their bones in pieces.
Daniel 6:24 (NRSV)


We all are Old Testament people at heart. We instinctively believe in revenge and vindication, conquering and slaying, wrath and reward. Which is why it is so important to read the Bible: as a mirror held up to our faces, among many other things.

And this is why the Gospel message is so world-turning, so foundation-shaking. The pinnacle of faithfulness is not to expect things to be made right for us, but to take the imbalances and the crookedness of the world upon ourselves in Christ's spirit. 

In doing so, we add a tiny piece of ground to the Kingdom.

Apr 4, 2015

The cross and the glory of life

From crucifixion...
They cried out, "Away with him! Away with him! Crucify him!" Pilate asked them, "Shall I crucify your King?" The chief priests answered, "We have no king but the emperor." Then he handed him over to them to be crucified. So they took Jesus; and carrying the cross by himself, he went out to what is called The Place of the Skull, which in Hebrew is called Golgotha. There they crucified him, and with him two others, one on either side, with Jesus between them.
John 19:15-18 (NRSV)

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from helping me, from the words of my groaning?
Psalm 22:1 (NRSV) 

But he was wounded for our transgressions, crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the punishment that made us whole, and by his bruises we are healed.
By a perversion of justice he was taken away. Who could have imagined his future? For he was cut off from the land of the living, stricken for the transgression of my people.
Isaiah 53:5, 8 (NRSV)

...to resurrection.
When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices, so that they might go and anoint him. And very early on the first day of the week, when the sun had risen, they went to the tomb. They had been saying to one another, "Who will roll away the stone for us from the entrance to the tomb?" When they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had already been rolled back. As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man, dressed in a white robe, sitting on the right side; and they were alarmed. But he said to them, "Do not be alarmed; you are looking for Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He has been raised; he is not here. Look, there is the place they laid him. But go, tell his disciples and Peter that he is going ahead of you to Galilee; there you will see him, just as he told you."
Mark 16:1-7 (NRSV)

On this mountain the LORD of hosts will make for all peoples a feast of rich food, a feast of well-aged wines, of rich food filled with marrow, of well-aged wines strained clear.
And he will destroy on this mountain the shroud that is cast over all peoples, the sheet that is spread over all nations; he will swallow up death forever.
Isaiah 25:6-7 (NRSV)

The stone that the builders rejected has become the chief cornerstone.
This is the Lord's doing; it is marvelous in our eyes.
 This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Psalm 118:22-24 (NRSV)


Conservative Christians view the crucifixion as a sacrifice made on our behalf to cleanse us from the evil in our hearts. Progressive Christians read it as the ultimate act of resistance to the powers that be, the empires of violence and exclusion.

Neither view is entirely incorrect, but held in isolation, both fall short. For both fail to grasp the actual event: the salvific and redemptive love that takes on evil to reveal it as finite.

Yes, there is darkness in our hearts. And yet, this darkness is not who we truly are. When it crumbles in waves of love, we realize that the core of our being is always fed by the Divine Source. Our sin is but scum on the Living Waters.

In the same way, our institutions are fraught with ills, and yet, they nourish and protect us even as they perpetrate injustice. Which is exactly what we do to ourselves. Their brokenness is but ours.

The real victory of Christ is this: in taking on evil and suffering, darkness and injustice, he exposes them as limited in power, inferior to truth and love. No matter how great the pain, healing is always possible. No matter how deep the dark, it can barely conceal the spacious light of day.

To uncover this reality, however, we must take on ourselves that which obscures it. In facing our personal and public darknesses, over and over again, we discover the light that is hidden within them.

In dying to what is, we find a joy more lasting and more nourishing than the fleeting pains and pleasures of the world.

Mar 31, 2015

Holy week paradox

O give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
his steadfast love endures forever!

Psalm 118:1 (NRSV)
At three o'clock Jesus cried out with a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?" which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
Mark 15:34 (NRSV)

To be a Christian is to hold the contradictions of life in our heart. That is the meaning of the cross.

This is never more clear than during Holy Week, when we commemorate Jesus' path from triumphal entry to torture and crucifixion, from death to resurrection. God's steadfast love does endure forever: but sometimes, the way to that insight leads through the abyss of despair. 

Beyond despair, there is the Living Water in which the paradoxes of the world dissolve.

I preached a little sermon on the topic; it can be found here.

Mar 22, 2015

Love and righteousness

But this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the Lord: I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. No longer shall they teach one another, or say to each other, “Know the Lord,” for they shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest, says the Lord; for I will forgive their iniquity, and remember their sin no more.
Jeremiah 31:33-34 (NRSV)

Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your steadfast love;
according to your abundant mercy
blot out my transgressions.
You desire truth in the inward being;
therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart.

Psalm 51:1, 6, (NRSV)


With my whole heart I seek you;
do not let me stray from your commandments.

Psalm 119:10 (NRSV)


As long as you believe that God’s love is bound by conditions of faith or conduct, it is worldly love you believe in, not divine love. Make no mistake: in competing for that kind of love, there is hardly a difference between a guy showing off his Ferrari and a Christian showing off his righteousness.

We strive to lead righteous lives, not to make God love us but to open ourselves up to the love that is already here. Sin is not a matter of trespassing rules and regulations. It is a condition of inability to receive and give love.

Mar 16, 2015

On God's will

Some wandered in desert wastelands,
finding no way to a city where they could settle.
They were hungry and thirsty,
and their lives ebbed away.
Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble,
and he delivered them from their distress.
He led them by a straight way
to a city where they could settle.
Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for mankind,
for he satisfies the thirsty
and fills the hungry with good things.

Psalm 107:4-9 (NIV)

Then Moses led Israel from the Red Sea and they went into the Desert of Shur. For three days they traveled in the desert without finding water. When they came to Marah, they could not drink its water because it was bitter. (That is why the place is called Marah. So the people grumbled against Moses, saying, “What are we to drink?”
Then Moses cried out to the Lord, and the Lord showed him a piece of wood. He threw it into the water, and the water became fit to drink.
Exodus 15:22-25 (NIV)


If anything can be said about God's will, about the intentionality within the momentum of life, it is this: for us to be joyful and free, rejoicing in the Living Waters of the Kingdom. 

All of Scripture needs to be read with this end in mind.

Mar 14, 2015

On sin and redemption

O give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
for his steadfast love endures forever.
Let the redeemed of the Lord say so,
those he redeemed from trouble
and gathered in from the lands,
from the east and from the west,
from the north and from the south.

Some were sick [or: fools] through their sinful ways,
and because of their iniquities endured affliction;
they loathed any kind of food,
and they drew near to the gates of death.
Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,
and he saved them from their distress;
he sent out his word and healed them,
and delivered them from destruction.
Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love,
for his wonderful works to humankind.
And let them offer thanksgiving sacrifices,
and tell of his deeds with songs of joy.


Sin is not disobedience to some arbitrary rule imposed on us from without. It is disobedience to what we know to be true in the innermost folds of our Being.

Hence, for many of us, redemption is an ongoing process, not a one-time event. Sometimes the way there leads through sin, at other times through righteousness. 

Note: both sin and righteousness can be obstacles to redemption. Discerning the difference between way and obstacle is very difficult, hence we are told not to judge.

Feb 20, 2015

Why I'm not giving up anything for Lent

Lent, during my childhood, was the dreaded exercise of giving up something that I like in order to please God. The underlying message being that God wants us to be unhappy for His sake.

What nonsense.

Not that there's anything wrong with renouncing something we'd normally crave. That's a spiritual exercise that can lead to surprising freshness and freedom.

By contrast, there is everything wrong with teaching children that God is He Who wants you to be without chocolate. Or TV. Especially when there is not much happiness in your life to start with, this message is damaging. It conveys a false view of God and a false view of self.

What it taught me was this: I was never enough. Never good enough, never desireless enough, never unhappy enough to please the god who delights in deprivation.

Now, of course, I know that the message of the Gospel is actually the opposite of that. What it really says it that we are accepted, no matter what. And that we are called to live a life of fullness. Times of elation and sad moments and boring, rainy days and the deep, calm joy of faith, all in unguarded abundance.

Which is, in a way, even harder to bear. For it calls us to accept ourselves as we are and life as it is. To leave behind all our neurotic attempts at manipulating self and life to conform to our whims.

And over the years, I have come to realize that giving up stuff for Lent was actually just another attempt at manipulation, borne out of the deep-rooted idea that I was not enough, not worthy to encounter God unless I deprive myself of some random pleasure.

I uncovered my deepest neurosis: trying to manipulate God into giving me happiness by making myself unhappy.

Hence, the best thing for me to give up for Lent is the idea that I have to give up something for Lent.

If there is something in my life that needs to be examined during this season of introspection, it will make itself known. In the meantime, I'm sticking to the little habits of life, finally knowing that I am, truly, enough.

Chocolate, anyone?

Jan 14, 2015

#Je suis all of these




Transl.: I am Muslim. I am Jewish. I am Catholic. I am Charlie.

I am none of the above. But in truth, of course, I am all of them. In a world of suffering and confusion, the only viable stance is to identify all the suffering and all the confusion as our own. For it is: as part of the human struggle intimate to our own heart.

I wrote a little sermon on the topic, it can be found here.

Dec 31, 2014

Onward

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
Matthew 7:7-8 (NIV)
No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them.

If a wise person is asked, "Do we seek out grace or does grace find us first?", the answer may well be "yes".

May your new year be one of seeking and of being found. 

Dec 25, 2014

Peace on earth, and good will to all

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”
Luke 2:8-12 (NIV)
God pours Himself out to create, subjecting his might to the vagaries of Existence. It is precisely this outpouring that we know in and as the Christ: The Eternal, unmarred by the passage of time, entering the realm of dying and becoming. And it is in this outpouring that the Holy One makes Himself known as Love. The infinite, silent Mystery: revealed within Creation.

Dec 14, 2014

Becoming adopted

But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship. 

Sometimes, we who are frightened and weighed down upon by the inexorable truths of life--pain and death, greed and callousness--catch a glimpse of love that comes from beyond, from the very depths: and we discover the possibility of home.

Dec 11, 2014

"White lives matter!"

Did I get your attention with that headline? Good. For in the recent torrent of news on racially charged police violence, attention withers quickly, and weary spectators retreat to one side or another of the opinion divide, or of the racial chasm.

But this headline, the color inverse of the slogan used by Ferguson protesters, has the potential to cut across that divide. For it invites us ("us" as in: White people, the stock population of the mainline church) to imagine race relations were reversed, and to walk in other shoes for a little while.

What did you feel when you read the post title? Did you feel dismayed? Offended? Or maybe satisfied that someone turned the tables? Whichever it was, don't judge it. That's your state of affairs, your angle of view right now. But now, let's try something different.

One quality of Jesus that we talk too little about is his compassion. His ability to be moved beyond words by suffering, moved in his innermost being. He literally felt with (com-pati) others. We, curved in unto ourselves, must practice this ability. So let's practice.

If you are White like me, I ask you to do this. Go on a little imaginary journey. Imagine an American society where race relations are reversed. Where White people are in the minority, and Black police officers exert deadly force on them in larger proportions than on Black citizens. 

Put detail into your fantasy. Paint it in stark, graphic colors. Imagine a White teenager followed around, approached, and shot by a Black vigilante. Or a White father of six dying after being put in a chokehold by a Black officer. Try to imagine a world in which YOU had no meaningful choice but to take to the streets, with thousands of others, and to shout "White lives matter!"

What would a society look like that compelled you to use these words? How would you feel about your place in that society, about your worth as a White person? How would this world feel to you?

I can say for my part that even the attempt at imagining such a society made me feel scared, oppressed, suffocated. Wanting to scream.

Whatever the outcome of the judicial processes may be, whatever we may think or feel about the protests, we must never forget that there is a reality experienced by the people we see on the news that is quite different from the reality we experience. There is a reason, or rather a multitude of reasons, why people take to the streets.

Prayer: Lord, may our encounter with the suffering of those we view as "other" change our hearts. 

Dec 6, 2014

Advent: unveiling of the light

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God; this one was in the beginning with God; all things through him did happen, and without him happened not even one thing that hath happened. In him was life, and the life was the light of men, and the light in the darkness did shine, and the darkness did not perceive it.

As we have entered Advent season, let us remember that the coming of the Christ is not so much the entering of a new light into the world as it is the unveiling of a light that has always been with us. The darkness around us becomes transparent and its inner glow, eternally visible to the heart alone, endows us with the possibility of love.

Nov 8, 2014

I'm back, and listening

I've been away from this blog for too long now, and I have to accept the reality that I won't ever get to that promised third part of "Evolution and original sin"... I got too busy and there seems to be no end to that. In a nutshell, that third part would have been about the parallels between the idea that there is a brokenness inherent in the ways we live life, and the notion that we treat the earth as something to exploit. I leave that thought for you to explore...

In the meantime, I led worship again at our beloved little UCC community, and I took over webmastership of our site, so now I post my sermons on there, rather than here on the blog. Check out my most recent sermon here and have a look at the posts that I sprinkle the site with irregularly. 

I also attended an "Academy for Leaders" retreat run by the Center for Courage and Renewal, who base their work on the Quaker tradition. That was sort of my treat after finishing my PhD and reorienting myself. Part of what we did over there was deep listening to one another. And I realized that there is an affinity between listening to others and listening to the Eternal Silence we call God in prayer and meditation. That insight sparked a poem.

Listening

A new realm, brimming with sparks, with stars
Encircling our beings in the deep.

Us, but moving dots on lesser days
Now joining the Eternal.

Have you experienced listening as a sacred exercise? Maybe as you found yourself attending to God's voice in the silence, or as someone shared their deepest selves with you? You are invited to relate your experience below--I'm listening.

Jul 19, 2014

Sowing grace

...and another sermon, which I gave last Sunday. (The last installment of the "Evolution..." series will be coming. Sometime. Soon. I promise.) The lectionary passages were Isaiah 55:10-13, Psalm 65:9-13Romans 8:1-11, and Matthew 13:1-9, 18-23.

If you live much of your life online, like I do, you have probably noticed that Texas Tech has made worldwide news these past few days. More precisely, one of our cheerleaders. She’s an avid hunter, and she has posted pictures on Facebook that show her with her quarry. Not bucks and deer, but lions, elephants, and even a rhinoceros. She has made many a trip to Africa to hunt those down.

These photos have caused worldwide outrage, and an immense outpouring of hatred. People all over the internet proclaim that she is heinous, that they are disgusted with her, and I have even seen a call to kill her. And I can’t help thinking, there is something wrong with this.

Not with the fact that there is an immense interest and compassion for these large animals. That is wonderful. We’ve come a long way from the times where animals were seen as objects. But if that compassion is turned into blind and misinformed hatred, something has gone awry.

For here is the thing: you could make the case that she has done nothing wrong. Yes, some of the animals she hunted are endangered. However, all her hunts were legal, organized by local agencies. She paid all due fees, she paid the people who worked for her. She gave the meat to villagers in the area, and she even gave toys and goodies to local children.

I’m not saying I’m condoning her actions. I do think there is something morally wrong with hunting animals just for the sake of hunting. Especially endangered or rare species.

But then, I am not exactly standing on moral high ground myself. I eat meat, I wear leather shoes, I consume products made from animals, and all those animals I consume probably had worse lives than the ones the cheerleader shot. And I am pretty sure the same is true for over 90% of the people who say they hate her.

And yet, everybody claims moral superiority over her, explicitly or implicitly. So what is going on here?

It’s precisely what Paul describes in today’s verses from Romans. We are following the law of sin and death. We live in the world of condemnation. We are dead in the flesh—not our bodies, mind you, but our inborn tendency to curve in to sin.

Usually, those words are taken to describe our relationship with God. But I have come to believe that they describe our relationship with life and one another. Here is what happens. We receive the law: a set of rules that tell us how to live. We try to follow the law, for it is good and makes sense. But then we realize we cannot live up to it. We will always fall short of perfection. 

Take the Sixth of the Ten Commandments. “Thou shalt not kill”, so it is said. Many take this to mean murder, but I believe it actually talks about all killing. If all life is sacred, as I believe, then it would make sense to have a prohibition against taking life.

And we would love to live in a world without killing, wouldn’t we? Except when we try, we realize how difficult it is. Let’s not even talk about human life right now. Let’s just talk about animal life. Sure, we can go vegetarian or even vegan. We can avoid any products that use animals or are tested on them. 

But inevitably, we bump into the limits of our efforts. We are part of an industrial society that destroys the environment and kills life in the process. We pay taxes that are used, among other things, to subsidize farmers who practice factory farming. We don’t want roaches in our kitchen. And so on. Bottom line, we cannot claim innocence.

And we know that, deep down in our hearts. So deep down in our hearts, we condemn ourselves for being less than perfect. And this self-condemnation hurts: a burden of pain we carry around every day. And from this place of pain we lash out whenever we find someone who seems to be even more reprehensible morally than we find ourselves. That’s what Paul means when he says we are dead in the law. The law is made powerless by our pain.

This is why the law doesn’t work. All it does is invite sin. In fact, it creates two types of sinners: those who break it, and those who use it to put themselves above others. We know those two archetypes as sinners and Pharisees. But it is safe to say that both live within each of us.

The only thing that can free us from this suffering is grace. The forgiveness that tells us, “you are accepted, exactly the way you are, despite all you could have done better, despite the fact that you will never be perfect. You are accepted.” 

This is the message that Christ brought us: in the healing of the sick, in the embrace of the outcast. On the cross, he took our all our wrath, our self-loathing and our judgmental anger on himself to make us understand that we are redeemed to life. That in all our imperfection we have never been anything but forgiven.

If we realize that, then the word has accomplished its purpose. As the prophet puts it: The mountains and the hills burst into song, the brier turns into myrtle, and the pastures of the wilderness overflow.

As Pastor Kate told us last week, we don’t have to do anything to earn this grace. In fact, we can’t do anything. But of course, that’s not the way we roll. Inevitably, once we have experienced this renewal of our spirits, we ask ourselves, what is next? What am I going to do with this tremendous freedom? How can I share it with others?

Today’s Gospel passage tells us how. Spiritual progress, says Jesus, is akin to sowing seeds on rocky soil. We sow our seeds of love wherever we can, but some will be taken away or choked by those with ill will. Others will fail to take root. But the good news is, we don’t have to judge anyone for that. Not ourselves, not others. 

For we have been liberated from the demands of perfection. We are free to keep on sowing, quietly, confidently. And eventually, some of our efforts will take root. And we are promised that they will yield a hundredfold crop.

Unfortunately, no one seems to be paying attention to Jesus’ words these days. The cheerleader incident is just one example. Even true compassion can turn very ugly when we add judgment to it. The same is true on all levels, from our personal lives all the way up to politics and theology. The left and the right, progressives and conservatives are interlocked in a deadly battle of petty legalism and mutual condemnation. 

The days where political divisions created energy and progress are over. The nation is tearing itself apart. Christianity is tearing itself apart. We are going down in a spiraling dynamic of mistrust and judgment, and this dynamic has to stop. And the only place where we can put some brakes on is right here. We have to start with ourselves.

I have a dream for our little congregation. I would like us to be visible in our community, not as a stronghold of progressive opinion, but as sowers of love and of mutual respect. I would like us to work for understanding between the left and the right, Democrats and Republicans, conservative Christians and progressive Christians. 

I would like this beautiful, simple little church to be a sanctuary for people who are asking questions. Who don’t know where they’re going, who may be suspicious of any ready-made directions—including ours!—and who need a space where they can discover a path to call their own. I would like this to be a safe space where people can explore and disagree, in matters of ethics, of religion, of politics.

I believe this is the only way we can share the bounty we have been gifted.

Jul 1, 2014

Slaves to grace?

I know, I still haven't gotten around to post part III of "Evolution...". Had a lot of things going on in my life in the here and now--among others, filling in with a sermon at our beloved little congregation. Here it is; the lectionary passages were Jeremiah 28:5-9, Psalm 89:1-4, 15-18Romans 6:12-23, and Matthew 10:40-42. My main focus was on Romans, where Paul uses the metaphor of slavery to describe our bondage to sin, but also, paradoxically, to the grace that frees us from sin.


Around the year 1200, there was a young man in Italy who lived the carefree life of a rich man's son. He worked in his father's business, attended parties, and eventually went to war. But all the while, he kept having spiritual experiences and visions of Christ. In 1205, on his way to another battle, he had another vision that made him turn around. He began a life of spiritual simplicity and care for the poor. His name was Giovanni di Pietro di Bernadone, but today we know him as St. Francis of Assisi.

In late 1934, a traveling businessman and hopeless alcoholic named Bill Wilson was admitted to a hospital to recover from a bout of drinking. Wilson had been drinking for nearly twenty years. He had ruined his reputation and career, and been told by his doctor that he would either end up dead, or permanently locked up. But during this stay, something happened. One night, after crying out for God in despair, Wilson experienced a bright light, a feeling of ecstasy and serenity. He never drank again, and he went on to become the founder of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Both men, St. Francis and Bill Wilson, were slaves to sin and then became slaves to righteousness, as Paul puts it. So we can use their life stories to learn something. For the passage from Romans is difficult for us to understand in many ways. We're not really sure what sin means, what grace means, and we're uncomfortable with the metaphor of slavery. It's almost offensive to our ears as we're still struggling with the legacy of actual slavery. And what does Paul even mean by "enslaved to God"?

First, let's think about sin. What is sin? Of course, it's not a list of things we're not supposed to do. Our faith has to move beyond such childish notions, and I assume for most here it already has.

The best definition I've come across is this: life curving in on itself. Martin Luther used this definition, and he may have gotten it from St. Augustine. In this view, sin is the suffering we feel when we sever the natural ties we have to all of life. This is not a new-agey idea. Science tells us that there is a seamless continuation from the first living cells to ourselves. Science also tells us that empathy is built into our mammalian nature. We even have so-called mirror neurons in the brain whose sole function is to make us feel what someone else feels. And caring for one another is one of the things that propelled human evolution. You can't raise a human child in an environment as selfish as, say, a chimpanzee horde.

So, our natural state is to be intimately connected to life in multiple ways. We are a continuation of the biological genes and the cultural memes passed down to us through countless generations. We are part of a larger whole in joy and in pain. Wherever people suffer, it is suffering that could be ours. Whenever we suffer, we bear witness to the suffering of the world. So when we divvy life up into things we do and we don't care for, we effectively cut some of our ties with life. And that has consequences we see and feel daily: in the fissures in our society, in the exploitation of people and nature, in our own divided souls where we act as manipulative parents to ourselves, rejecting some aspects of who we are while cherishing others.

Sin, then, is an inner motion, a movement of the heart and mind by which we say we don't care about life as a whole, only about our own little territories. And we take those territories so seriously that we even expel parts of ourselves from them.

There's another thing we can learn from this. Sin is not moral failure. St. Francis didn't choose to be a rich man's son. He was born into a lifestyle that entailed luxury and a lust for adventure. Likewise, Bill Wilson didn't choose to become a miserable alcoholic. He started drinking to overcome his natural shyness and awkwardness in social situations. He might never have been a successful salesman without alcohol. He might have never had a reputation to ruin.

The same is true for all of us. We are all born into a situation we have to cope with, and we do so to the best of our ability. Sometimes we behave morally along the way, and sometimes we don't. Sin is an inevitable part of what it means to be human. We can't help curving in on ourselves, even when we earnestly wish not to do so. And paradoxically, when we try to be perfectly good, we actually commit yet another sin: the sin of the Pharisees, the sin of pretending we're above the human condition.

So it makes sense to say we are slaves to sin. What is slavery? You are taken from your rightful home, you are placed in captivity, no longer free to make your own decisions, and you toil away while you get nothing in return. Being subject to sin pretty much sums that up. Slavery is an apt metaphor for our spiritual condition.

This situation would be hopeless if it weren't for grace. Grace is the good news of forgiveness, of restoration to wholeness and communion. Sometimes grace seeps into our lives slowly, as it did with St. Francis. His spiritual maturity grew over years and years in which he had encounters with beggars, with death and imprisonment, with illness and visions. Eventually he devoted himself to the spiritual path. At other times, grace bursts into our lives unexpectedly and changes us radically. This was the case with Bill Wilson. In either case, grace came and freed them from their slavery to sin.

What happened next is fascinating. For both men, grace wasn't the endpoint of their journey. It was the beginning. Both went on to do great things, and hence they set themselves up for more failure. We don't know much about St. Francis' personal flaws. Back then, people didn't scrutinize spiritual leaders as we do today. But we can learn from the lives of a few more recent saints. It turns out that Mother Teresa had a temper. Gandhi, the great proponent of non-violence, beat his wife until he had a tearful moment of repentance when he realized he wasn't living up to his own values. And going back to Bill Wilson, he was sober for the rest of his life, but he was a heavy smoker, experimented with LSD, and some say he had an affair. Bottom line, when we talk about people as godly or even saintly, we're not saying they're perfect but rather that their light outshines their darkness. Both are part of the wholeness of their human condition.

And here lies the key in understanding Paul's word of enslavement to righteousness, or to God. Grace is a gift. But we have to take responsibility for that gift, for we are still human. We are still fallible. We can't let the gift sit outside our door. It will get eaten away by the weather. We have to make use of it, even if we stumble and fail some more along the way.

And the astounding thing about grace is that if we don't use it, we betray ourselves. Grace permeates us to the core of our beings. Some even say it comes from the core of our beings, from an inner truth deeper than our individual consciousness. St. Francis couldn't have gone back to being a rich young warrior. Bill Wilson couldn't have gone back to drinking. They would have betrayed their own, deepest selves.

It is in this sense that we are enslaved to grace once we have tasted it: we are bound to it with the chains of spiritual fulfillment. Just like sin took us from our homeland of primordial communion, grace takes us from the wasteland we have come to call our home. It brings us to new life in shackles and commands us to toil for it without regard for reward. The reward will come: but if we expect it or even demand it, we are back to sinning. We can build a new house, but we can't force ourselves to feel at home in it. The most important rewards in life are beyond our control.

It now becomes clear what the prophet Jeremiah meant when he said that of all the prophets, the one who talks about peace is the real prophet. Peace doesn't come true by being full of uptight righteousness. We find it whenever we are given the strength to bear witness to suffering. To work with imperfection instead of judging it. To care for one another despite the carelessness of the world. This reassurance is the glory of our strength and the shield of our covenant. The glimpse of home we catch is our reward.